HIV Case: An Alarming Case in the Philippines

According to the most recent announcement of the Department of Health, five people get infected each day in the country. New carriers are usually men who belong to very young age bracket. Despite the awareness campaigns by the government, the transmission of HIV through unprotected sex is rapidly increasing among men who have sexual contacts with the same sex.

As a man who engages in sex with another man, I know exactly how tempting it is to indulge in unprotected sex. Sex is difficult to refuse especially with someone that looks so pleasing to the eyes. Sometimes when you go to the mall, you come across a person that you find so attractive and this person shows interest in you too. He is like a mouth-watering chocolate that is so irresistible. He looks neat, clean and healthy. He is an opportunity that knocks (you) once. Your initial plan to shop is diverted to a pleasurable sex -- more memorable purpose on that day. Since it is unexpected, there is no time to buy a condom and you tell yourself "I will use a condom next time."

We are all aware that an HIV carrier has no single face. He can be a professional in coat and tie, a seemingly neat guy with bulky biceps, etc.  There is no physical manifestation unless the severity of the carrier's condition is already at advanced stage. I just wish there was an IPhone application that serves as an indicator to determine whether a guy is HIV+ or not when you take a picture of him.

Anyways, we should always be prepared for any unanticipated sexual offer. If you think that you tend to stumble upon someone you met on the bus or train, at church or school, at the mall or anywhere, keeping a condom in your wallet is a must. If you have a very active promiscuous lifestyle or you have multiple sexual partners and not being able to practice protected sex, you better undergo blood test for HIV. You have to have a sense of responsibility to yourself and to others.

Sympathy for the victims of HIV.

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GAY: a derogatory term

What are the attributing factors for one to be considered as a gay?

Many guys in the Philippines who voluntarily engage in homosexual activities (man to man partnership and sex) hate to be regarded as gays due to connotations associated with the term. Being called or teased as gay is offensive and derisive as though one is considered as a mediocre being. A picture of a gay is usually viewed as someone who is a transvestite or a cross-dresser, usually working as hairdressers and wanting to be transformed into a woman. This is the reason those guys create names or labels in order to euphemise the term gay or to evade being labeled as gay.

The term Bi or Bisexual characterizes a guy who exhibits musculine behavior. He acts perfectly like a straight man but his sexual preference is with the same sex which is the sole distinguishing factor. He can also be someone who is interested in either a man or a woman. "Chicboy" is now connoted as someone who can be either be with a chic or a girl and with a boy.

Some guys call themselves "pure top" which is derived from the category "top" in the homosexual realm. Top is the one who prefers penetrating another guy. It is the opposite of "bottom" who prefers being penetrated. Versatile top or versa top is someone who is willing to subject himself to be fucked on given conditions but his natural inclination is to fuck. Meanwhile, versatile bottom or versa bottom is someone who is willing to fuck someone on given conditions but his natural inclination is to get fucked. Pure top is someone who's role in sex is limited to fucking and kissing only without touching his sex partner's vital parts and certainly no giving of blowjob on his part.

Some guys even hide in the shadow of a "tripper." Those who regard themselves as trippers believe that they are actually straight guys who "simply" want to have a "trip" with another guy for a change. An example is a ""married tripper." He is married to a woman but wants to try sex with guy.

Those terms or labels merely serve as disguise. The Philippines is a patriarchal nation; thus, a man is expected to act and behave like a conventional man. If he moves away from the norm, he is considered gay and will receive countless disparagement.

Then what could be the term that defines a guy who is attracted to and wants to have a sexual experience with the same sex but in a way not considered as gays? Perhaps, the term "interested in male" can be used to differentiate him from a straight guy. It encompassess all varieties of gays. However, it is still not adequate enough to exclude guys who are willing to subject themselves to a homosexual act on condition of money or those who are victims of forced sex with or raped by another man prevalent in prisons.

The truth is recognizing oneself as gay or "interested in male" is an intrapersonal agreement. It is not the business of other people to make him realize that he is gay. It, however, is important that a person understands his sexual preference in order to know himself better.

My Days at Liana's Cinema, Alabang

Actually, Liana's cinema is the first "cinema" that I've visited. It is because most of the movies are for general patronage. I was only 16 years old when I entered it for the first time. It is a huge cinema but only a few people go there -- about 10 to 15 people at a time, except when there is a hit movie being shown like Harry Potter and during Philippine Movie Festival in December. The air-conditioner is set at a good temperature.

I have been to the cinema for several time. Damn! I used to go to the cinema whenever I was bored, feeling lonely and sad, and was in heat. But usually it was when I feel lonely. Liana's has many 4 theaters that show different movies of course. But the same thing happens inside and the same type of people frequents the place.

I received a very delirious blowjob. On the seat with my pants or shorts and underwear pulled down and my hands tucked at the back of head, I would let a guy play with the body. He would lick my nipples which gave a heavenly sensation. His lips would slowly crawl down to my navel, stay at it for a short while and crawl again down to my scrotum. His tongue would play with my balls in a circular motion. Sometimes he would have my entire scrotum inside his mouth. It would give me shiver that I would release a moan of intense sexual bliss. His mouth finally would climb up to my tube and begin pumping it. Still without the help of my hand, I would ejaculate about 4 times or even more. The mouth of my slave would be filled with my juice but he would not let go until I am through with the final drop. He would spit it on the floor. He would whisper at my ears and say "you came a lot." I would feel a little bit uneasy afterwards.

I've lost count of how many times I've gone to the cinema and left sexually satisfied. I was young and yet I was too adventurous. Another unforgettable experience I had was the first time I touched someone else's dick. I've always tempted to touch but I refused due to my principle. I encountered a guy who was at my age back then. He really wanted me to touch his dick but I rejected his plea. Until he exposed his dick to me. It was so big -- huge. I watched him as he played with it. It was so teasing. I could clearly see the curves of his dick. The head was so huge that the crevice was so pronounced. He took my hand and put it on top of his huge dick. It was warm. The warmth was scorchingly tempting. After a few minutes, I was finally relaxed. I gradually examine the shape of his dick. My fingers touched the deep crevices and the large vein. My brain was telling me I liked it. My fingered crept to his scrotum. I slowly lifted -- it was heavy. Unsatisfied I used both hands to feel his manliness. I felt like I wanted so succumb to it. It was as though I wanted to serve that thing forever. I wanted to be enslaved by it.

But he said he was about to come. I hold his penis and began to jiggle it. The huge vein was touching my palm. It was damn good. What more if it was my tongue? But I couldn't. He wanted me to suck it by I objected. Until now I still could not give bj to a stranger. The moment has come for him to ejaculate. And it  hinted the end of the pleasurable moment.

That night I couldn't help myself from being preoccupied by the thought of holding a stranger's dick. I told myself I would certainly gratify myself with it again.

When My Ass Gave In

19 July 2009

I am a bottom gay, which means I prefer to be fucked than to fuck. As a bottom gay, my fear is that oneday I am going to see little flesh inside my asshole come out of the orifice that resembles a crown on top of the head. I don’t want that day to come, although I know that the only way for this day never to come is to refrain from getting fucked again which will be contrary to my position in sex.

I recently had a one-night stand with a stranger. I allowed him to fuck me. He was the eleventh guy who chanced my ass. He was not a gentle sex partner. And I didn’t know if he truly knows how to fuck. I smeared cooking oil all over his dick and on my ass. Then he ventured to penetrate my ass. He tried to thrust but it was actually the spot between my asshole and my testicles his dick was pointing to. He carelessly move d his glans penis downwards under my instruction toward the right spot. The friction it was creating  upon rubbing on my skin as it moved downward was like a knife slicing my skin. I told him he was hurting me. I was expecting that he would move his body a little backwards to check on the hole or fumble on the hole so the next time he would thrust it would be into the hole. But he kept on pushing until the head of his dick finally reached my asshole, yet it was not the proper way of doing it since he used solely his dick to find my asshole from the incorrect position between my testicles and the asshole. It really hurt excruciatingly on my part as his dick finally got into the hole. I stopped him and pushed him away. I contorted my body as I tried to battle the pain to alleviate it. It was like the first time I got fucked. At that instance, I was already thinking that it might cause the skin in my asshole to swell. I was still full of lust however.  After a few minutes, the pain became tolerable. Then we started again. This time, I guided his dick to my asshole after applying some more lubricant. I told him to begin thrusting.  A minute did not pass when he said he was about to come. I requested him to delay it a little longer so I could enjoy it. But he couldn’t help it at all. He came inside my ass. To my disappointment, I said to him not to pull it out yet and wait for me until I came as well. At last, I have come. A lot of semen spewed out and scattered on my tummy, chest, neck and even on my chin. That was the end of our sex adventure that night.

In the morning, I could feel there was something wrong about my ass. There was still a pain. It was a tolerable pain since I could just ignore it. Yet, every time my attention focused on it and ponder on what had happened a night before, I could feel the little pain in my ass. In my mind, I knew there must be a laceration and the pain I was feeling was indicative of a wound – worst it could be the thing that I am fearing as a bottom gay. I checked my ass in the mirror. I took the narrow, rectangular mirror hanging on the wall, laid it on the floor; then I positioned myself front of it with both legs spread on the sides of the mirror. I used a small flashlight to investigate my asshole. I was startled to see that there was a reddish flesh on the perimeter of the orifice that must  be belonging to the inside part of my hole as it didn’t match the rest of the flesh in colour surrounding the asshole. I felt horrible. I touched it with my finger. It hurt. It was like a burning pain I feel when I rub my skin vigorously against my palm until it gets red.

 I don’t feel normal anymore.

Key Word

I've never touched this blog for months and yet surprisingly it's still being visited a few times a day. It proves that a lot of internet users are interested in sex. I remember Google.com revealed that the most searched key word is "SEX." Well! Not quite astonishing because it's the most common term for all sorts of sexual activities. Unlike if you are going to search for something wholesome, there are plenty of key words that can be used.

"O" Bar

A friend of mine invited me to go to "O" Bar in Malate, Manila. I haven't seen him for almost a couple of years, although we have regular communication through sms or email, so I said yes to his invite. It was a Tuesday when we went to the bar so the crowd was not so huge as compared to when it is Friday, Saturday or Sunday night.

It was my first time to go to that bar. As a matter of fact, it was my first time to go to a bar like that since I choose to stay in concealment from other gays or bisexuals. Some people call that bar Top or Bottom. The name itself makes the place intriguing. My friend and I entered the bar at about 1 AM. The entrance fee was P150 inclusive of 3 bottles of liquor. But it is P250 inclusive of 3 bottles of liquor on the aforementioned days.

The bar was not spacious which I didn't expect. It has 2 floors but the second floor was closed at that time since the first floor was enough to accommodate the small number of crowd. The crowd was a mixture of genders, transvestite, lesbians, girls, masculine gays, etc. Everyone was dancing happily. There were some guys who were topless due to the influence of liquor that they had the courage to be undress. Some male partners were kissing torridly. I danced wildly too after I felt that I was a little bit drunk but only with my friend and with a girl whose body touched mine. It was exciting. There was a show too by 3 transvestites. They were lip syncing the song of Whitney Houston in a sexual way. It was entertaining.

Well! Nothing much happened. It was not too extraordinary. At 5 AM the bar closed. But I would certainly go back. I had fun.