GAY: a derogatory term

What are the attributing factors for one to be considered as a gay?

Many guys in the Philippines who voluntarily engage in homosexual activities (man to man partnership and sex) hate to be regarded as gays due to connotations associated with the term. Being called or teased as gay is offensive and derisive as though one is considered as a mediocre being. A picture of a gay is usually viewed as someone who is a transvestite or a cross-dresser, usually working as hairdressers and wanting to be transformed into a woman. This is the reason those guys create names or labels in order to euphemise the term gay or to evade being labeled as gay.

The term Bi or Bisexual characterizes a guy who exhibits musculine behavior. He acts perfectly like a straight man but his sexual preference is with the same sex which is the sole distinguishing factor. He can also be someone who is interested in either a man or a woman. "Chicboy" is now connoted as someone who can be either be with a chic or a girl and with a boy.

Some guys call themselves "pure top" which is derived from the category "top" in the homosexual realm. Top is the one who prefers penetrating another guy. It is the opposite of "bottom" who prefers being penetrated. Versatile top or versa top is someone who is willing to subject himself to be fucked on given conditions but his natural inclination is to fuck. Meanwhile, versatile bottom or versa bottom is someone who is willing to fuck someone on given conditions but his natural inclination is to get fucked. Pure top is someone who's role in sex is limited to fucking and kissing only without touching his sex partner's vital parts and certainly no giving of blowjob on his part.

Some guys even hide in the shadow of a "tripper." Those who regard themselves as trippers believe that they are actually straight guys who "simply" want to have a "trip" with another guy for a change. An example is a ""married tripper." He is married to a woman but wants to try sex with guy.

Those terms or labels merely serve as disguise. The Philippines is a patriarchal nation; thus, a man is expected to act and behave like a conventional man. If he moves away from the norm, he is considered gay and will receive countless disparagement.

Then what could be the term that defines a guy who is attracted to and wants to have a sexual experience with the same sex but in a way not considered as gays? Perhaps, the term "interested in male" can be used to differentiate him from a straight guy. It encompassess all varieties of gays. However, it is still not adequate enough to exclude guys who are willing to subject themselves to a homosexual act on condition of money or those who are victims of forced sex with or raped by another man prevalent in prisons.

The truth is recognizing oneself as gay or "interested in male" is an intrapersonal agreement. It is not the business of other people to make him realize that he is gay. It, however, is important that a person understands his sexual preference in order to know himself better.